we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
