youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I want her autograph on my taint
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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