I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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