Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
