so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
