break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
