So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
