i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
our cab driver is having phone sex.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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