You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
