I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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