what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
