home. puking in laundry basket.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
