I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
