Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
