fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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