Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
