i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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