12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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