how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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