He is such a slut. More and more my type.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
