Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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