i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
