Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
