just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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