I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
