I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
