wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
