You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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