Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
