I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
