i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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