I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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