when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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