meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
