There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
