Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
even my farts smell like vagina
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
