Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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