I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
