We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
