I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
