not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Enjoy the penises
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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