yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Screwed.edu
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
