Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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