would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
vagina is talking i cant
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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