Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
