We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
