Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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