I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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