I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
