Duck Duck Cougar?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
