It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
