i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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