I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
