Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
