I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I believe in your delicious
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
