Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
